"Take love away from life and you take away its pleasures."
--Molière
So What’s It All About?
Here we are at the beginning of something new. This is the first edition of a newsletter encouraging the value and enjoyment of this thing called polyamory. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, let me briefly explain. Literally "polyamory" means "many loves." In practice, it can means different things to different people, but always with the idea that a person can love one person in addition to loving another (or others) in different and unique ways without taking from the value of the love given to another.
This newsletter serves as an extension of the Iowa City Polyamory group--a new group supporting and promoting a social environment where people can share and discuss their poly related beliefs, and just get together to enjoy each other’s company. The variety of people who are polyamorous ranges from conservative to liberal; pagan and monotheic; old and young; and straight, gay, and bi. We want to bring together various people with this one commonality and share our differences as well as enjoy our similarities.
Anyone who believes in polyamory, or wants to learn more about it is welcome to join the online community at www.onelist.com (search for "IowaPoly") or the meetings at Cyberbeans in Iowa City.
The newsletter is also always looking for submissions. If you have an essay, advice, story, cartoon, announcement, please submit it to the newsletter. For now submissions can only be accepted online by sending it to cybernomad@usa.net. The text of each newsletter can be found archived on the website http://welcome.to/iowapoly; but if you want the newsletter with pictures and graphics and info, or can’t reach the website, you can get copies of the newsletter at the meetings or by mail.
From 1001 Ways to be Romantic by Gregory J.P. Godek
14: You can make everyday events into "little celebrations"—opportunities to express your love for your partner. We’re not talking passion here but affection…. A tiny bit of forethought can turn the ordinary into the special. Eat dinner by candlelight. Tie a ribbon around a cup of bedtime tea. Turn his birthday into a birthday month! Give her a bottle of champagne as a "thank you" for doing the grocery shopping. Leave a greeting card on his car seat when he’s about to run errands for you.
IowaPoly Discussion Group
6:00pm at Cyberbeans in Iowa City, above Great Midwest Icecream Co.
September 26th
October 10th
October 24th
Poly-what?
The term polyamory was first proposed by the Church of All Worlds founder Oberon and Morning Glory Zell to replace the awkward expression responsible nonmonogomy. Cyberspace conversations via the Internet and the World Wide Web popularized its use all around the world over the last several years and helped bring it into general usage.
—From Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits by Deborah Anapol
Harvest Moon: Sept 25th
Blood Moon: Oct 24th
Halloween/Samhain Oct 30th
"We have heard of people who identify as ‘trisexual’ because they are so strongly attuned to the idea of living and loving as part of a threesome..."
"More Than Two" fromTHE ETHICAL SLUT by Easton and Liszt
People can make commitments to each other in numbers greater than two. The level of commitment may vary, as when an existing couple makes a commitment to a third partner, or even a fourth. Relationships that add, and inevitably also subtract, members over time actually tend to form very complex structures, with new configurations of family roles that they generally invent by trial and error. Individuals in groups that come together as a threesome or foursome may find their roles within the family developing, growing and changing over time: the person who feels like "mother" of the group this year might well transition to "kid" or "Dad" over time.
Triads are probably the most common arrangement, allowing partners of one or both genders to form family unit. Some people grow into triadic or quadratic families as they attain deepening involvement with one or more members who started as outside lovers. Others actively seek members for group marriages, to fulfill their idea of the kind of family they want to live in. We have heard of people who identify as "trisexual" because they are so strongly attuned to the idea of living and loving as part of a threesome....
In a triad, as with the siblings of a family, all the relationships will not be at the same level at the same time…. To get hung up on forcing these relationships to be exactly the same can leave you in the position of the small kid screaming about "How come she got the first hug?", or the biggest smile, or the hottest orgasm. We cannot emphasize enough the importance of getting beyond competitiveness to work inside yourself on accepting difference and uniqueness as a wonderful gift that increases us all.
Subscriptions to Open Eyes, Open Arms are available.
For information, or to submit articles or artwork for future editions write cybernomad@usa.net.
Info and archives are also available at http://www.celticbear.com/iapoly
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