CelticBear’s Musings

The whole blogging thing still confounds me. Well, not so much that I don’t understand it, but I’m simply amazed by how some people get obsessed by it. Or so it seems.

To read more on my wonderings, click somewhere around here that indicates you can read more. I dunno…I just started using this thing. =)
I guess I’ll cross-post it to my Celticbear site too, as an announcement that I’m blogging now. =)
(I feel dirty saying that. LOL)

OK, see, I first found out about the whole blogging thing from a friend around late 2000. She blogged using some group blog site with tons of people. And with her, I could tell it was a need to get attention and validation. She was lonely and bored and had very low self-esteem and she was likely using this public display of vaguely anonymous exhibitionism to garner some, to be redundant, attention.
But I was immediately taken by how many people were on these blog portals. And how many people read others’ blogs daily and even comment on them (thus the attention and validation comes into play.)

But when the friend and I lost touch (which I miss) I forgot about the whole blogging thing. Then I noticed on a computer tech tips and hints site I really like: Lockergnome, a refence to a blog. So OK, this guy (who I met at a netINS mini-convention I was working at at the time, where I got a signed book by him *g*) keeps a journal of tips and tricks? No, a little more personal. I thought that was weird. Before, the friend, I knew she had some slight issues she was going/working through…but Chris of Lockergnome seemed together and mature. Why would a smart, savvy person have an online journal that’s not themed, like a project diary or travelogue. Those would make more sense.

Then add to that the discovery that his wife has a very active personal blog as well, and TONS of links to other blogs, which all link to tons of other blogs, and the discovery of blogs everywhere! (OK, that’s a little hyperbole, but it sure seems that way.)

I’m not a stranger to the concept of exhibitionism and voyerism, to a degree. I get why people do both…especially from the safety of the Internet. Well, relative safety. But why are so many people so eager to share their thoughts daily (which I can guess), and more importantly, why do so many people read blogs? Daily, near obsessively? Why is the voyeristic drive so strong with some people to read someone (or many persons’) daily entries? Seems like a huge waste of time to me. (Whoa, I just alienated a lot of people! *g*) I can understand if it were a good friend or family member, but a stranger? And then, here’s a weird Internet dynamic, the assumed creation of friendship with a stranger due to the fact you read their blog.
I’ve read through blog comments and I can see where people give the impression they are friends with the blogger when they’re very likely not, simply because they read their journal and comment on it. It kind of sparks ideas for thriller plots, no?

Perhaps it’s symptom of our more remote society. We don’t meet people or do things anymore. We’re not active (American society as a whole and myself in particular…I’m sure there are still very active individuals out there I’ve not met *g*.) The majority of our social life is performed on-line nowdays. So, does that change the paradigm of what friendship is? It used to be friends were people you met for drinks/meals, helped move (maybe,) played ball with, did stuff with. What replaces that when the people you meet are online? Friends are now people you help kill dragons with on an online game, share Web links with, read each others’ blogs? It seems so much more superficial to me. If I make an on-line “friend,” won’t the default attachment to that friend start and remain lower than if they were “real life”? If your whole circle of friendship is on-line, does that make the pseudo-friendship created by reading and commenting on blogs valid? What was considered pathetic and sad 10 or even 5 years ago is now becoming the norm, as is our grown waistlines?

So, again I ask myself, why start my own blog? And I’m myself savvy and honest enough (or so *I* think) to admit I have my own exhibitionist streak. As far as opinions are concerned. Sitting in a car, in a room, anywhere in person, unless I feel really passionate about something I generally just shut up and listen to other people. But I still would like to express myself, but perhaps not where I can see disaproving and/or confusing looks. =) So, do it on the ‘Net. Embarass myself in the comfort of my monitor glow!
And I ask myself, is there a part of me that is fishing for that virtual friendship and validation from strangers?
I tell myself no, I have friends in real-life. I’m a (somewhat) active member in a gaming club and I started dipping my toe into other real-life activities like paintball and Airsoft. But, then, I remind myself, my real-life hobbies revolve around the virtual or erzatz experience. My gaming club focuses on role-playing games, and paintball is simulated combat. Maybe I’m more of a non-corpreal experience participant than I thought.

Online friends can, in my opinion, never replace real friends, and “friends” created from blog reading will never rate the title “friend” in my book. Unless that blog reader happens to live in the same town and go to the same gaming club *g*. And so I’m right back to pondering my step into blogging, since I somewhat understand the reason to blog and read blogs, but barely acknowledge its validity. Isn’t it being hypocritical?

Nope. In my opinion. I’ve decided if I want to blog in order to play with interesting Web toys, play with with verbal/mental exhibitionism and feel like my opinions matter because I’m shouting them into the ether, and practive my writing, then that’s all that matters. If someone wants to read, great. If not, no one’s forcing them to; I’m doing this for me and my own curiosity and exercise. And so begins the trek.

Now, won’t it be ironically humorous if much to my chagrin I end up making good friends from this? =)