As is what happens when one doesn’t follow a dogmatic belief system (read: “religion”) one’s beliefs can be subject to change. As more thinking and meditation reveals more, as experiences color knowledge, and knowledge increases, a person who does not fall for a religion can be expected to evolve in their beliefs, and faiths.
The bad side of that is that you have people who fall for ridiculous stuff like New Age claptrap. But the failure there comes from focusing too much on the gut instinct and pretty words and twisted logic of other people, and not enough to one’s ability to reason and ability to be skeptical and incredulous.
I consider myself intelligent. Hopefully not arrogantly so, but sometimes I am guilty of it. I read all I can regarding scientific discoveries, developing understanding of astronomy, biology, computer technology. I’m a student of history and study all I can regarding early American history, world history, religious and cultural histories. And then, I’m a flaming skeptic. I doubt all extraordinary claims until I see extraordinary proof. And I’m constantly thinking about topics of spirit, the soul, God, morality. And so while I eschew religion because of its obvious failures both in reality and even spiritual foundations (see: “Why The Very Basis of Orthodox Christianity is Absurd and Cruel” and “Absurdity of Revealed Religions pt. 2” and “Did Jesus Really Exist, pt II“,) it doesn’t mean I disbelieve in spirituality and God altogether.
OK, I’m a realist. I live in a real world with real people. Our universe runs on a set of laws that we have discovered over time. Gravity, evolution, life/death cycle, astrophysics, atomic decay…. We may only be aware of a small fraction of the laws of the universe, and we may only know a small fraction of those we’re aware of. Science is all the time discovering new things that add to or change our current understanding. It’s living life in a fantasy at best, and dangerous at worst, to deny that we live in a physical reality that is subject to certain laws of existence. Thermodynamics and the conservation of energy, for example. If these laws were not absolute, we couldn’t have airplanes, space travel, or medical procedures or life saving medications we do. So for those reasons I remain grounded in reality and am skeptical of anything that refutes reality as we know it. Can see and touch and examine it.
But I’ve said it before and I say again, I believe in God. And, as I’ll delve into in a bit, spirituality. How? Why? The existence of God is an extraordinary claim that requires extraordinary proof, and there is none. And when I say there’s no proof to DISprove God, I’m edging into the realm of the believers of ghosts and crystal power and ESP. Well, there’s a difference: The foundational laws of nature and physics already provide a layer of disproof of all those claims that require a believer to find evidence of proof that accurately and undeniably contradict the established laws of science. There’s nothing in science that prevents there from being a God. Nothing. Not fossils, not biological evolution, not gravity, not tectonic plate movement, not thermodynamics, nothing. Now, the religious claims as told on books and scrolls can be disproven, but not the existence of God in general.
Logic has a lot to say about God, though. If God created the universe, what created God? Another God, ad infinitum? Maybe. Why not. We already know that time/space as we know it, while highly structured and definite, is a construct of this universe. We have no idea or conception of reality outside the existence of this universe. We have no way of testing it, observing it, examining it, and possibly no real ability to comprehend it outside of the limitations of human imagination. Maybe God doesn’t need a creator and our idea of the necessity of a creator ends and nullifies once you get outside this universe. Or maybe there are an infinite creator Gods. Or maybe the universe itself IS God.
A true skeptic is not a cynic. A true skeptic does not say anything is impossible, just that anything that is incredible or extraordinary and appears to defy reality as we know it requires incredible and extraordinary proof. Maybe, just maybe there have been alien visitation. Maybe there are ghosts. But for the time being, there is an endless amount of evidence both hard and logical that explain how extraterrestrial and supernatural events are mistakes, misunderstandings and skewed observations, and frauds, just as the preponderance of evidence shows the claims of supernatural (and even many natural) events described in the mythologies of Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Egyptian, ancient Greek, etc, are also fantasy, metaphor, mistakes, fable, parable, lies, well-meaning folktales, and anything but reality.
But still, one has to remember that God and religion are separate things. One can believe in God which has no proof against him without the trappings (literal and figurative) of a religion which dictates how and what God is in human terms, and describes God’s interactions on earth which appear to defy reality and can be summarily explained with science and psychology.
Well, enough said about what I DON’T believe — I’ve done enough of that in a zillion other blog entries. Back to the point.
I believe in God the creator (as I’ve said many times.) But I’m also coming to believe (RE-believe) in a more personal God. The main reason I’ve rejected so heartily the idea of a personal God is mainly because it was a side-effect or a victim of my rejection of orthodox Christianity. I’ve been committing the same crimes against reason that many conservative Christians do and throw the baby Jesus out with the bathwater. Er, something like that. Most Christians believe there is “Christian,” and there is “atheist” (or pagan,) and nothing in between. A lot of people can’t wrap their mind around the idea that a person can believe in God, believe in a guided creation (via evolution), and even a personal relationship with God, and yet not believe in the validity of the Bible. If you’re not a Biblical Christian, then you’re atheist/pagan. With us or against us. Black or white. Right or wrong. Well, in my decrying belief in the Bible as being wrong, most of my spirituality went along with it.
I’ve said before that while it’s not necessarily a bad thing to put faith in something that has no proof of being disproved, doing so runs the risk of falling apart if proof against it is ever found. One has to be prepared to modify and evolve their belief in light of natural evidence to the contrary. I also believe that to believe in something simply because it doesn’t seem disprovable is logically bankrupt. The hallmark of Deism, or any -ism that falls under the umbrella of Universism, is that one arrives to the belief using reason, rational thought, skeptical analysis, in addition to personal experience and observation. Which is a slippery subject, because there are thousands of people in the world who swear they have had the personal experience of being abducted by aliens, and are quite incorrect in their observations. Countless people around the world have had “visions” and visitations by angels, God, Jesus, Mohammad, demons, succubi, fairies, the Virgin Mary and other icons of religion, but are ALL of them right? Which is why intelligence, reason, and rationality MUST be paramount in translating and evaluating experience.
A recent guest on The Infidel Guy was a former pastor’s wife. For years she was not only a devout born-again Christian, but took courses in Christian apologetics, moderated Christian discussion boards, devoted her life to the study and promotion of Christianity. But every time she couldn’t find an answer, a GOOD answer, to an “unbeliever’s” questions and challenges, doubt would grow. She was taught whenever doubt takes hold, go back to your “testimony”. Witness of your experience of God taking hold in your life. Which usually helped her. But then, she started reading other peoples’ testimonies. Lots and lots of testimonies, and something struck her… each and every one was emotion based. All of them involved an emotional response to an emotional situation which they attributed to the intervention of God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. Not a single one of them involved something that could hold up under rational or reasoned evaluation. And it finally struck home for her how manipulative (although often well-meaning) and irrational belief in a faith is. And how it can make you rationalize the most absurd illogical events and arguments in order to match what you “feel” in your heart or “gut”.
Emotions are easy to sway. Emotions are easy to manipulate. Emotion is the most direct way to inspire basic and fundamental reactions of fear, joy, anger, and desire, which easily influences belief. And while emotional manipulation is generally short-lived, add some faulty logic that plays upon the emotion, invoke an eternal punishment/reward-carrot/stick system, and build in commands to not question too deeply or deal with people that challenge your beliefs too much, and you have a religion that millions will subscribe to and follow blindly. Humans are very emotional creatures. Everyone has emotions. The ability to reason and be skeptical is a skill that must be learned and developed. It’s harder for people to evaluate an argument for logical fallacies and weigh reasoned analysis of a claim, than it is to just trust in their emotions. But God didn’t make us the most intelligent, aware, conscious, curious, and rational creatures on the planet in order for us to just waste these abilities.
That said, I come back to why I’m beginning to re-believe in a personal God. It’s certainly not just because it can’t be disproved. It’s cheap and silly to believe in something based on the inability to prove a negative. “Prove to me that God doesn’t influence people.” “Prove to me there’s not a blue kangaroo in the world.”
OK, it’s taken me two days to write this, and the bottom line is, I have no reason to believe in a personal God aside from the desire to do so and the lack of ability to prove it’s not possible. I examine my life and my experiences like a good freethinker, and there’s nothing in my experience that can be pinpointed as “God in my life.”
All “religious” experiences I’ve had while an orthodox Christian, no matter how strong and deep, have all been very emotional experiences triggered by outside influences (music, someone’s testimony, a play/cantata/performance, companionship of many like-minded individuals, a powerful speaker….)
I have had similar emotional responses to secular stimuli (music, movies, plays, books, powerful speakers….)
I have had many good things happen in my life.
Many similar good things and even better happen in the lives of non-Christians.
I have recovered or survived bad things in my life.
Non-Christians also survive and recover from bad things in their lives.
Much, MUCH, worse things happen to good, faithful Christians, many of whom don’t or can’t recover from.
There is nothing in my life that makes it better while I was a devout Christian, and nothing in my life that makes it worse now that I’m a Deist. (Well I take that back. I had more friends while I was a devout Christian, but that’s only because when you are an active member of a church, you have a built-in fellowship with lots of people with a similar interest. I have less friends now simply because I don’t get out more. Something I need to change this new year. *grin*)
So I’m struggling lately, and even as I write this, with the desire to believe in a personal God. Perhaps it’s a backlash to all the negativity in my rhetoric lately. For months, all year, I’ve been up in arms and red faced in my campaign against Biblical belief and dogmatic religion, that maybe I need to start nurturing the spirit within. And maybe that IS the effect of a personal God. I absolutely do not believe that belief in a personal God makes your life “better”. Countless faithful, praying Christians have horrible lives and suffer terrible tragedies; countless non-Christians have very spiritually fulfilled and content lives. So having a good life is at least not dependent upon your religion. And since, if God is non-religiously confined and available to all who believe, faithful Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists and Shintoists and Wiccans and Jews also have equally tragic and content lives, simply believing in a personal God doesn’t make your life better.
The quality of your life is dependent upon your actions, uncontrollable outside events (accidents, disease, the actions of others, natural events,) and your reactions to those things. It’s certainly possible to have a “tragic” life due to outside events like disease and the actions of others, but you may still have a fulfilled and content life because of how you respond to events in your life, and I’m prepared to believe that a belief in a personal God CAN affect that regardless of your religion. I mean after all, if there is a God that does interact with creation on a personal level, why in the world would he limit that influence to only those who believe in a certain book or prophet or set of human laws?
From a purely reasoned point-of-view, there’s no reason to believe in a personal God. The universe is orderly, infinite, clock-work, explainable. People have content, discontented, fortunate, tragic lives regardless of their faiths. There appears to be no need for a personal God aside from simply to feel better about oneself or not feel “alone” in the universe, or to fill that human need to feel like there’s something bigger than you in charge and making sure everything ends up OK.
So while this blog entry began as a way for me to express my re-emerging belief in a personal God, it looks like I’m back to limiting my belief to a creator-God with simply allowing for the possibility of a God that intervenes in the creation. What a lot of wasted rambling and babbling.