Seriously? Are they kidding with this? This is the CIA’s Terrorism Buster logo?
OK, to be fair, that image is on a lapel pin and about 5 times the actual size or so. But c’mon. That’s pretty goofy. And by the way, I didn’t realize you could attach an ancient Middle Eastern saber on the end of an AK-47. That’s pretty talented. Because of course, all terrorists are Middle Eastern, donchya know. Like Ted Kaczynski, the guy who set off bombs as the Atlanta Olympics, the people who set black churches on fire, the Phelps congregation who terrorize families of fallen soldiers, Basque separatist rebels–all Middle Eastern. They’re all Middle Eastern Muslims and they’re all over in Iraq, because we’re fighting all the terrorists there so they don’t come here. Yep. We sure are.
OK, but this post is about bad animation. And my heart was broken today by it.
The latest Slice of Sci Fi podcast had an interview with Tracy Hickman, promoting the upcoming Dragonlance movie. Now, I read the first two trilogies of the Dragonlance series in a 72 hour period back in highschool, and loved them! Especially the second, Twins, trilogy! I laughed, I cried, I felt empty and sad when I finished them. They’re not Shakespeare, but they were incredible to me. And a huge cadre on die-hard fans.
So, when it was announced the first book was being made into a feature movie, there was much celebration. (yeeaah) Not only a feature (albeit animated) film, but with a superb voice cast, there was greater rejoicing! I mean, there is no one better to voice Raistlin than Kiefer Sutherland, I’m sorry. And I heard some of the full orchestral musical score, and it’s great! Imagine my disappointment (and the disappointment of legions of fans… like the sound of thousands of people crying out…) when I heard of the 1st trailer being released, and saw this drek:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=UHrOfJ8_D0o
It’s like they ran out of money after hiring Sutherland and the orchestra and had to hire animators who were fired by Hanna & Barbera in the 80′s. It looks like old He-Man cartoons spliced together with a little 3D CGI from mediocre 1990′s games. It makes me cry a little.
I’m still hoping that what this is is some modern version of storyboarding, and we’re not seeing any actual film footage yet. I mean, how in 2007 can you possibly make a movie that looks as bad as 1985 Saturday morning cartoons? You have people making entire live-action films on an Apple PC that look high-production value, and the best they could do with this movie is crummy mass-produced 80′s style made incongruous and schitzo with bad CGI thrown in? Sad sad sad.
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